Maddison is in preschool, at home.

Maddison is in preschool, at home.  A teacher comes to our house on Fridays.  She is a delightful, wonderful woman.  She is teaching me ways to teach Maddison.  It is a county run program, which I am not sure if I am paying for or not.  I use to pay for all of her therapies that we received through the county so I might still be paying. I was supposed to send her to school come September.  I just couldn't do it.  Well, I was kind of leaning toward taking her but her daddy wasn't.  How lucky am I though, that the teacher comes here. I get the best of both worlds.
Monday is picture day at the school.  I want to take Maddie, how adorable to have her first school picture done.  They are having a play date for the students October 20 but that happens to be The Buddy Walk this year. When we do decide to let her go, I do believe Maddie's teacher will protect her.   I do believe she will love the other children. I am just not sure they will like her.  She loves to hug soooo much, I am worried another child might not like all the affection. We've had that experience before.  She is so stubborn, if she wants to give a hug you better be ready for it.  If anyone has any experience with sending their child to preschool, I would love to hear it!!!!  I want to send her so she can be in circle time, but it's just such a hard thing to let her go without me......

Day 2 (A note to Maddison from her momma.)

A note to Maddison from her momma.

To my adorable, wonderful, amazing little girl.  Two and half years have just flown by.  I have loved every minute with you!  Your beautiful, funny, and extremely smart.  Your signing is amazing.  Your really trying to form words, and you can match things so quickly.  I'm having such a fun time raising you.  You make me smile everyday.  I really couldn't ask for a better little girl. I would love to take you to the first doctor we saw and say to Dr. Doomsday, (our made up name) YOU WERE WRONG!!!!  There is more than just the statistic that people who have children with Down syndrome stay married longer and we have children who are more empathetic.  THERE IS ALSO THIS, MADDISON.  Something and someone that is so wonderful, you left that part out.  I wish I had the courage to go to that doctors office and sit outside of the door so when women walked in for their sonogram, or amnio they would see the truth.  They would see Maddison. She is not scary, or difficult, she is wonderful and full of love to share, with everyone.  

Oh my little Maddison the happiness you brought to my life is really indescribable.  May you always know you are loved so very much from your momma. From the second I finally got to see you in the NICU to this very moment, I love you and you complete me!  I look forward to our life together!  You and Me and Me and You!!  

  

Oct 1 Down Syndrome Awareness Month

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month!  As a mother of a daughter with Down Syndrome, I would like to pledge to write everyday for the month of  October with the hopes that if one person reads our blog, then they will see Maddison through my eyes, and if it makes them happy, makes them understand, or just gives someone hope, then I will be thrilled.
My little girl means the world to me.  I have a slightly different view of someone with special needs.  I simply adore them, and seek them out.  (I always have) I truly believe it has always been my calling to work with special needs children.  Little did I know it was God's plan to give me a child with special needs.  I never really went through the why me stage.  I am one to usually think "Why not me me?"  I never went through a grieving stage for the daughter she wouldn't be.  I did however wonder how the world would except her.  But I have realized it really doesn't matter.  Her father and I, along with her 3 siblings, and lots of wonderful family members, are the only ones who will be her constant and will protect her, and will love her unconditionally.  I am thankful that I have found so many people who have such wonderful children and that whether the people know it or not I consider them close friends.  I have learned so much through reading other blogs.   Okay...okay.... my fussy pants is ready for bed....more tomorrow and the next day and the next day..........

Maddison was supposed to start preschool on Tuesday.  I mentally prepared myself for her to go and leave me, and make new friends.  But last Thursday my husband had a better idea, for her not to go.  So I called up the County and told them Maddison will not be coming.  They said oh okay, would it be better if she didn't go to the school but have the teacher came to your house?  Ummmm, Yeah, that sounds great!  So now she is going to have a teacher come here once a week instead of her leaving here twice a week.  I really like this idea much, much, better, I wish it would have been proposed a little earlier and that would have saved me so much wasted worrying time.  She starts on Friday I am so excited.  Then we can decide in a few months if she will be ready to go and If I like the teacher, We will  (possibly) let her go, and by possibly let her go I really mean, most likely not. :)  Although I really wish she had a friend to play with.  Now with her siblings in school, she is looking to me for all her entertainment, and I am not that entertaining. You think this being kid number 4 it would be easy for me to send her to school, but somehow I think I am getting worse at it, not better.
Wish I could have a summer redo....it went by way to fast!

--+

We just go back from our Beach Vacation!!  We took Maddie last year, but she never saw the beach.  Her daddy was to worried to take her.  But this year he let her go.  (sorta)  Mostly carrying her, bringing bottles and bottles of bottled water in case she got sand near her face or in her eyes.  I think he let her touch the sand once.  She did love running on the sand, putting her feet in the water, and watching her brothers run around.  It was so much fun, I'd love to go back for another week!  She is getting so big!  She is true to being two and even having an advanced dose of terrible twos.  Hope it gets better when she can talk more!  But she is still cute as a button!

Maddison is walking EVERYWHERE!

I honestly can not believe Maddison is walking so well.  She is getting so big. I really wanted her to walk by her second birthday, AND SHE DID!!  It was so cute she started out with her hands to the sky and her legs were so wobbely.  In just 2 short months she has mastered walking with her hands down or toys in hands, or trying to walk very quickly.  (Not really running but she thinks she is)  Everyday she amazes me more and more.  When I read other peoples blogs I feel like I am so lucky with how healthy she is.  We have NO heart problems, NO eating problems, NO health problems, her thyroid is now regulated.  She is just perfect!
I just adore her and love her so very much.  All day she would sit and listen to books if time allowed.  She loves books and music.  I wish everyone could meet her because she is the most adorable baby ever!  I wish everyone who was pregnant and received a diagnosis of Down syndrome could meet her, they'd love her and think I would love a baby just like this!

My Pretty Princess is TWO!

It's really impossible to believe my little girl is two.  I think back exactly two years ago and reflect on the life I was living.  It was CRAZY.  Maddison was in the hospital for so long.  I missed my other 3 kids terribly.  I can imagine and feel every emotion I was going through.  I can remember so vividly sitting in the hospital cafeteria thinking "look at all these people they are here with a story possibly with so much sadness."  I really felt like I could relate.  I had so much sadness not knowing if Maddison was going to be okay. 

Thank you God for my little girl and the most wonderful 2 years anyone could ask for!  She is really a blessing to Our family I can't believe how much love she has to give and how much everyone loves her. 

End the Word........ These are not my words but I can't think of a better way to say how I feel and how Maddison's feels....This is written by my favorite Blogging mom, she has Addison

"That movie was retarded."

Translation: "That was the worst movie I've ever seen."

"Seriously I can't believe you did that. You're such a retard."
Translation: "Wow you're an idiot."

"Hahahaha, that was the most retarded thing I've ever seen."

Translation:"That just took STUPID to a new level."

"That outfit doesn't go together at all. It looks so retarded."
Translation:"That looks horrible!"

Whether or not you've found yourself saying that word in such a context, sadly, many other people have.

Unfortunately, society has taught us that it's a cool word to slip into everyday vocabulary. Hollywood still uses it. Popular books still use it.

Maybe you have never even considered why this might be a problem or an offense. I'm not here to judge you if you have said it in the past or find it on the tip of your tongue now.

But I am here to help you become aware of what it means and why saying it isn't in anyone's best interest.

Retard: to make slow; delay the development or progress of; hinder or impede.

The truth is-
my daughter is retarded.

Beautiful Addison who I love more than anything holds the medical diagnosis of "mentally retarded".

Every time you flippantly replace "horrible", "stupid" or "idiotic" with the word "retarded" you might as well replace it with "Addison" instead.

and that hurts. more than I could ever express to you.

Because if you know Addison AT ALL you know that she is neither "stupid" or "idiotic" or "horrible".
She is a gorgeous, sweet, curious, amazing, SMART little girl.

"Be the bigger person"
"Words can't hurt you"
"Stop being so sensitive- it's just a word!"

You may give excuses as to why the offense is my fault, but the truth is?
This is about making the world a more accepting place- a place full of dignity and respect for ALL. I can just stay in my corner, wiping away the tears from seeing people I love dearly place this word on their facebook status in a laughable fashion. I can tuck away the hurt and deal with it the same way I deal with other hurts that may come my way.

But that won't help the world accept Addison or others with intellectual disabilities. That won't raise awareness that an entire population segment right now is being degraded through every day conversation under the guise of being cool and hip.

Addison is a person- just like you and me.

and she deserves all the respect and dignity that you can offer because everything that comes so easily to you and me, she has to work at least TWICE as hard to achieve. That deserves admiration and hey-RESPECT

and part of that means


NOT USING THE WORD "RETARDED" or "RETARD".

please. cut it out of your vocabulary. Just don't say it!

I am begging you.

and someday?
Addison will thank you too.

To see the most awesome parade float ever, check out this link.

Ordering Braces for Maddie

Today I ordered braces for Maddie to insert in her shoes.  They are supposed to help her stand more sure footed.  I really hope they work and she doesn't get mad when I try to put them on her. I really want her to walk before her 2nd birthday, which is next month.  So I hope they are delivered quickly. 

Aunt Kathy feeding Maddison her first LollyPop!

I think she liked it!

Just an update

Time is going by so quickly.  We had a meeting to determine if Maddison is eligiable to go to school in September.  SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER, WHAT?????  At 13 weeks pregnant when we had a 1:4 chance of having a baby with Ds I was told from that moment, "The baby will never leave, it will live with you forever, you will always have to care for it".  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine she would be going to school at 2.  At the meeting I starting crying.  Thinking of her already "leaving"  had my heart hurting.  My little girl that will be 2 in 1 month is being considered for a school program.  It's only 2 days a week for 3 hours.  That is equal to my other kids when they went to preschool, when they were 4.  I know this could be good for her and what a great opportunity it would be.  Hopefully the 7 months I have to think about this, I will not be crying, I will be excited, but I doubt it.  Then they brought up the bus.  I just laughed, she can't walk yet.  They said oh that's okay we stroll them up the bus in their stoller and the load them on.  Which is funny since I just started letting my 7 and 8 year old ride the bus!  To no avail if she goes to school I can definately say she will not be riding the bus.  I just wish I knew the best thing to do for her, let her go or keep her at home just one more year????

The New Kitchen Set

Maddison loves her new kitchen set. Typically she does wear a shirt while she is cooking, but we were in transistion to the clean outfit. 

Her therapist REALLY  want me to let her feed herself, at least a couple of bites, so that is my new goal.  I am going to do it, starting tomorrow!  Everyday we do work on straws, and cups, and drinking, but we are no farther along than a year ago.  We really have to get this thing down.   Anyone have any suggestions we are dying for something to work!!!